Embracing Imposter Syndrome

If the title of this sounds funny or strange to you, imagine how strange it is for me. If you go back and look at my now mostly dead Blog, you’ll find an article about overcoming Imposter Syndrome, where I talk about how you can fight it and win.

Ah, the good old days. Well … yes, you can fight it, but I’ve come to realize it might be best if you don’t win. As much as I’d like to say, given the modicum of success I’ve had over the years, I was able to slay the Imposter Syndrome Dragon … it still lives comfortably in my head and has even done some renovations, including some new locks to make sure it stays right where it is.

In the past, I’ve written about being on sets where I watched my words and actions … my stories, acted out for cameras in front of me and how it made me feel. Yes, I have shed a tear, or five, seeing actors making my characters come alive. To have actors on set thank me for writing such great characters to play is astounding. But I kept asking myself why was I also incredibly uncomfortable with it at the same time. I think partially because I never believed them. Did they know they were talking to me?

Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t change a thing. Do I hope one day every writer who wants to see their stories on a screen has these things happen for them? Absolutely. I have ALWAYS said there is room for everyone to succeed, and I love hearing about it.

Writers need to be supportive of each other.

I also now think that some Imposter Syndrome is a healthy thing. Having that thought, “When are they going to find out that I’ve fooled them?” always drifting through your head can actually make you a better writer.

How many writers have you met or seen online that could use a little Imposter Syndrome? Unfortunately, I’ve found the writers that brag the most about how fantastic their scripts are mostly write the worst ones. The “I will not allow anyone to change a word of my script” crowd. I have news for them. Old news. There is no script that doesn’t need improvement or change.

I look forward to notes from friends, from producers, from directors because there are always things I never thought of, or flaws I never saw. Yes … I’ve gotten what I think are bad notes. Every writer has, but you argue them from a story logic point of view and not an emotional one. As soon as you realize as a screenwriter that you’re not always right, even on your own original script, you’ve moved to a new level in your career. If you use story logic, you can win most of those bad note arguments, too. And when at times you lose those arguments, and you do, and they’re paying you, you incorporate those notes in the most creative way you can. It’s the job.

What has this got to do with Impostor Syndrome? Plenty. First, it keeps your ego in check. Very important when dealing with producers. And … after you’ve arrived, success and overt self-assurance can breed a sense of calm, of serenity, of complacency … and lazy writing. “I got this.”

Here’s the truth … You don’t got this. The best writers I know are always on their heels. Worried about being as good as the last time, or staying better than the next writer. Having Imposter Syndrome makes you more aware that you’re one bad performance from the job at Home Depot you never want to think about.

The other cool thing about Imposter Syndrome? You don’t have to hide it. I tell people all the time I have an acute case of it. I tell them it keeps me grounded in reality, especially in times like we’re experiencing now. This great Contraction that’s taking place in the industry. Yes, there are projects being made and writers being hired, but at a greatly reduced rate, and A.I. scares the hell out of me. Not enough to ever use it, but that’s another article. I like using my brain and my own imagination.

Do I actually think I’ve been fooling producers and directors all theses years? That I see my name on the screen and am still amazed? As any of my personal friends can tell you, YES … I honestly do. It makes me work harder. I also believe, for me personally, that my ability to write the way I do is a total gift. One that can go away if I don’t use it. I don’t want it to stop, so I keep striving for improvement. I learn from other writers. I study the craft. I may teach classes in it, but I take them, too.

After all these years? Why?

So I can keep fooling them. I love the act of creation. I love story. I love being a storyteller. These are things you need to love to do this screenwriting thing well. Just wanting to see your work on a screen or to be famous isn’t close to enough.

So, go look in the mirror and think … “I love writing, but I’m not nearly good enough and really need to get better at it.” It’ll spur you on to greater things.

Let’s hear it for Imposter Syndrome.

*Feature image by fran_kie (Adobe)