This Winter Will Be Different

I say it every season. Also, at the beginning of every month, week … you get the picture. It’s good to be hopeful, right? “This time, I’ll stick to the routine.” I will write, exercise, work, shuttle the kids, catch up on all those books I’ve started, watch the new shows and chisel away at the ones I’ve been keeping a list of on my iPhone—did I mention drive the kids and help with homework, and oh yeah, dinner needs to be made and the dog walked and driveway shoveled and that copywriting deadline is, like, tomorrow …

Yeah, I’m totally gonna get around to that writing I said I wanted to do above everything else.

Work-life balance? More like standing in pointe shoes on a skewer with my fingers crossed.

The juggle of Must Dos and the Want-To-Dos is a constant battle for any artist. Especially when the art you’re creating isn’t exactly paying the bills. Yet. It’s that “yet” that takes it from hobby to Driving Dream. The need to carve out time, daily, if possible, to make it a priority because it’s supposed to be the thing paying the bills one day. The thing that will be the work and the joy simultaneously; amalgamating what once was two time slots in a day requiring attention into one.

What a glorious day that shall be burdened with such work.

For now, however, that artistic more-than-a-hobby endeavor needs to be prioritized alongside the “real work,” parenting, and self-care.

Have I mentioned how much I hate that term? “Self-care.” So overused to sell even more products and services that steal our attention from what matters most. Or perhaps that’s just the viewpoint of this jaded marketer. I can sniff it out a mile away and sure, sometimes it sucks me in if done particularly well, and I can appreciate I’m being suckered, but still.

For the sake of this post, let’s go with the more practical: prioritizing health. I’m talking eating nutritiously and exercising for endorphins and energy because otherwise how will you have the fuel and stamina to get through the mental load that comes with work, family life, maintaining friendships, and pursuing a career in the arts?

So, yeah, exercise and time to cook a decent meal needs to be high on the priority list, as well.

And this winter will be different.

Instead of hibernating while the hours seem to dwindle as darkness descends early, I’ll use cloaked hours for something that feels like it’s just mine.

Like exercise. Something that once felt selfish, now feels necessary to keeping these old bones moving without creaking (but let’s be real, they still snap, crackle and pop to the point even my little terrier looks up from where he’s curled beside the Peloton to quirk his head at me). Plus, bonus, I actually have more energy to be present with my family? Gee, who knew that’s how it works.

Like writing. Because—and y’all, I know this is going to be a shocker—the more of it I do, the better it gets. The easier it becomes to open that document even when I don’t feel like it, because there are already words on the page to work from. The more confidence I feel to keep going; even when I see projects similar to mine on the screen or read a book with those tale as old as time tropes I’m so fond of. Sure, I cry first. Someone else got there first! They’re going to think I copied!? But guess what: If someone is talking about my work, that means I published or produced and there’s something out there of mine for someone to troll and hate on. So … it’s a win, right?

You’re delusional, Karin. Also, a touch crazy from the sounds of it.

Yup. I gotta be if I’m going to keep going with this writing thing and turn it from side project to projected career path.

So, I prioritize writing differently now, because, all together now: This Winter Will Be Different!

I don’t do it under cover of night. I do things like try different times of the day, either before my kids wake in the morning, or first thing when I sit down at my desk after drop-off and “should” launch into work-work. First, I fire off twenty minutes of “my writing.”

Notice how both those sentences state “first” because that’s when my mental energy is humming along at full capacity still. When does yours? No, for reals, let’s share, because the arts are collaborative, and it’s always nice to know you’re not alone in the uphill trek, both ways … So, please, for all of us, try tracking your optimum creative time; even if it’s just ten minutes. Does it work several days in a row like that? Cool, even better!

Sometimes, I indulge and stretch that twenty minutes out and, while it feels incredibly decadent, as soon as that Guilty Voice opens its gaping hole in the depths of my heart to be like, “No one is paying you to do this, why are you wasting your time? You owe people work.” I say “So what? Keep Going!” (Thank you, Lisa! Case in point for sharing the struggle and having friends who can understand.)

I keep saying that as I draft because later is for edits. Now is for the muse. Later is for the business of pitching and worrying, now is for getting the work done. In this case, I’m the only one who can do it because guess what? No one’s going to ever buy my book if I don’t write it first. If I don’t finish that screenplay. (Yeah, you might’ve caught on by now I’m trying to do both for a double whammy of WTF is she thinking).

It sounds so freaking simple.

It ain’t.

It’s not for the ones who go it alone. It’s not for the ones with families to think about and balance into the equation. At the heart of both: Time. Prioritizing the precious time we’ve been gifted to make the most of it.

So, cheers to you all trying to make it through this happiest of seasons while juggling it all and still trying to breathe, enjoy, and find joy through your writing and art; because creative pursuits are worthy work, my friends.

You got this. We got this. Because this winter will be different.

*Feature image by psychoshadow (Adobe)