Saying No to Get the Elusive Yes

That is, if we’re waiting on others to acknowledge and green light our work. Whether it’s writing a novel or penning a script, or any other creative endeavour, it’s carved into our consciousness that if someone else wants it, then it’s worthwhile work to be done.

I have so many questions.

Is it not possible to write stories for the sheer, inherent purpose of creating? Possibly, but also more probably to entertain, distract, engage, and leave a lasting impression. Not only of our story’s message, but a tiny sliver of ourselves, the creator, as well. A fragment of our selves out there in the world. From horror to documentary, romance, comedy, and everything in between, every project is a fractured reflection of where we’ve been, where we’re at, and where we’re going.

Is that not a worthy way to spend one’s time?

And thus, why must we wait on others to give us the okay to put it out there? Why does the collective “they” get to determine the worth of our words?

Writing is so incredibly internal, our message so specific to our lived experiences, and the purpose of our words of our own devising, why wait for someone else to say: Yes, this is okay to print, publish, share?

Take one step over and it shifts the whole point of view. Maybe it’s not the Yes-givers in charge we’re seeking to impress anymore, but each other. The gates around the inner sanctum have never been higher when it comes to studios and Big Five publishers, yet the outlets for story have exploded. The audience is out there, waiting for our stories whether someone at the top said it was a “good book” or not. Their insatiable appetite evident in the numbers: “Self-published authors make up over 50% of Kindle’s Top 400 Books for 2024.” According to the Alliance of Independent Authors. There’s never been a better time to do it yourself.

So, are you prepared to give yourself a "yes"?

If you’re like most writers, that means you’re creative, and that also means you probably partake in the “best idea ever” rollercoaster that dives into “this is crap” town with a pit stop in “but I need to just jot this new idea down first”-ville.

While we’ve all been there, it comes down to focus. Practice. And therefore, routine.

By focus I mean not only on your craft, but the positive inner voice to cheer on your writing. And by practice, I again mean not only writing to hone your voice and get that word count up, but also on staying positive and engaged with the project at hand.

Therefore, is that "yes" we’re waiting for so elusive? Or are we just not taking the right steps, engaging with the activities that actually move the needle? Or is it just a matter of perception?

Time to say "no," practically speaking.

Daily life is busy, messy, noisy. All the -y words that clutter up the day like energy vampires, tasks of the necessary and needless varieties equally that suck up our time. It can be very hard to focus if you’ve got a million things on your To Do list. Or if you fall into the endless doom scroll trap. Or a demanding job (though let’s be clear, all jobs are demanding in their own way). Or have a family to care for.

As a woman and a mum, this becomes even trickier; a battle of wills inside oneself to have all the facets of yourself make peace with one-another. We’re already doing an unpaid, full-time job. Or rather the jobs of a whole team: caregiver, housekeeper, cook, Uber driver, therapist, on and on.

Let’s add another job that won’t be paid until we’ve completed all the hard work, shall we? Let’s devote hours of mental space and writing time to something that may never see the light of day. How many hours must a musician practice before performing on stage? How many words must we write, before the right ones hit a chord with the masses for a payday?

Some of us are willing to sacrifice our wellbeing for that. But should we? How do you carve out the calm moments to be able to give the creative mind space and time and freedom to do its thing?

Especially if your plan is to make money from your writing. To sell a script or publish that novel, finally. Writing is therefore work, a business, and demands even more from you than say, simply journaling for your own self-care. Both are important and require time and mental energy. Want to know what I think the secret is here to getting it done?

No matter what kind of writing you want to accomplish, it requires you to say "yes" to you.

Dear You, wonderful, creative, unique you. You must gently let yourself know it’s okay to spend time doing the thing you love.  

Now that that’s settled, the practical bits:

Set a schedule to find freedom. Getting up in the wee hours before everyone else may hurt a bit at first, especially in the dark of winter now. Or maybe it’s staying up later. But isn’t it in the dark that light shines brighter? Our creative works are that light. It’s worth feeling into which times of day you are most creatively energized and work with your Life Schedule, and pencil it in as your Writing Time.

Start Small. Five minutes. You can do five minutes. You can scroll for five minutes, you have time to open your Notes app and jot something down. Like the yellow brick road, you never do know where it’ll lead because even Oz wasn’t what it seemed. Because what would happen if those five minutes flew by and you wrote another five? Allow yourself flexibility to exceed your own expectations.

Say "yes" to tangents. You’re now on a roll. Shut down the internal editor and keep writing. It may not be used for this project, but it’s worthwhile for something! Save it all, don’t get too caught up in the details, and keep going. Always keep going.

Set boundaries. With yourself and with the people you love. Be honest: what is deserving of your time and attention? What things are absolutely crucial to your survival that need to be attended to … and what can wait or come secondary to get your writing work done? This might be one of the most difficult steps because saying “no” can feel like shutting a door. But are you really? Especially if you’re honest with your loved ones about what you’re spending your time on, what it means to you. Perhaps reframe it even for yourself that stating you need this quiet time to get your writing done is setting a good example for your children, your partner, friends, that it’s okay to say "yes" to yourself and go for your dreams. It’s possible to do hard things! You’re doing them right now.

Say "no" to everything that isn’t in service of protecting your energy.

Consistency is the magic key. Once you’re on a bit of a roll with your writing, it’s even easier to slip into this headspace. To say "no" to what isn’t in service of your end goal. It takes constant practice, but it’s possible. And once you’re saying "yes" to yourself in this way … the universe just might say "yes" back.

This could look like innate satisfaction of living your purpose, appreciative readers, a self-published book! A self-produced script on your iPhone. It’s empowering, not waiting for others to tell you "yes." So, say it with me now “No.”

Then, I highly suggest signing up for Pipeline’s upcoming symposium on how to get your project written in 2026 for more practical advice from Julia F. Green.

Happy writing!

*Feature image by Jorm Sangsorn (Adobe)