The Queue: 365 Movies I Never Saw Because I've Spent Too Much Time on Twitter - Part I (January 2023)

The Queue: 365 Movies I Never Saw Because I've Spent Too Much Time on Twitter - Part I (January 2023)

Part 1 of a 12-part series whereupon I watch one movie a day and rank them in their given month based entirely on subjective preferences.

The rules:

1) must be a movie I've never seen

2) review must be 32 words or less

3) must include an assortment of genres, directors, countries, and films inside and outside my comfort zone

4) must watch the film in its entirety, no matter how atrocious

Like you, I have a lot of movies on my list, many of which are so painfully popular, I carry great shame in having missed them. Few regrets. But great shame.

For each, I shall write only brief thoughts and become an intolerable quasi-cinephile who thinks Jeanne Dielman, 23 quai du Commerce, 1080 Bruxelles is more interesting than any Marvel movie, and Phil Alden Robinson is a better director than James Cameron. Both of which are true.

I apologize for nothing.



#31) Party Girl (1994)

Parker Posey is a national treasure. This movie is not. One bonus point for being a quirky nineties micro-budget indie, as is required by federal law.

#30) The Mikado (1939)

... I had to. Morbid curiosity. Through a modern lens, context aside (which I would debate) it's a freakish display of misguided cinema. Like a sideshow from a parallel universe.

#29) Irma Vep (1996)

Not much of a plot—not an alluring one anyway—unless I (very probably) missed something.

#28) Carnival of Souls (1962)

Like a slow-burn, semi-effective "Twilight Zone" episode. Could have used more twilight. Backdrop is innately unsettling. I'd be shocked if this wasn't a Kubrick influence.

#27) Fantastic Planet (1973)

Saying it's "weird" would be too obvious—and inaccurate, because it's arthouse cinema of the seventies, so it's all weird. The cutout animation is haunting. Wistfully timeless story.

#26) Bottle Rocket (1996)

As a fan, I (usually) make a point to see (most) Wes Anderson films when they're released. Can see glimmers of Wesness here—just not terribly engaging. Despite its indisputable charm.

#25) Avatar (2009)

I won't explain why it took 13 years to get to this pretty OK movie, but yes, it's well-done, and no, I don't particularly wish to watch it again.

#24) Sweet Sweetback's Baadasssss Song (1971)

Wild ... French New Wave inspo aside, I can think of no more independent an independent film.

#23) Cronos (1992)

I wouldn't call it a masterpiece, but worth your time, if not only to immerse yourself in Del Toro oddity.

#22) The Sandlot (1993)

I was supposed to see it in 6th grade, but Michael Santos and Michael Varela spoiled the ending in Miss Bradley's class, so I skipped it. But yeah, it's aight.

#21) Athena (2022)

More of an expertly choreographed crime/action ballet—with some awesome long takes. Given the story, I bet it'll age well. Chaos begets chaos.

#20) Better Luck Tomorrow (2002)

Obvious statement: you can most definitely spot Justin Lin's skills here. And why it's a notable work.

#19) The General (1926)

I knew this was lauded for its stunts, but good lord ... Also trying to figure out how they shot some of these scenes. Drones? Probably drones.

#18) A Quiet Place (2018)

Not sure about the ending, but whatever—well-deserved hype.

#17) A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night (2014)

This was her debut feature ... Lol. A marvel of indie cinema. No notes.

#16) Oklahoma! (1955)

They earned that exclamation point with the 15-minute surreal dream sequence!

#15) Burn After Reading (2008)

Worth it to see John Malkovich punch Brad Pitt in the face. And one moment that made me gasp aloud. "What did we learn?"—an eloquent bookend.

#14) The Menu (2022)

Markedly enjoyable, skillfully directed, cast is delectable (puns!). But felt disjointed on a first watch. Sloppy in theme? Or just over my head?

#13) Gimme Shelter (1970)

I don't know what to tell you other than that, despite a relatively small number of features, The Maysles are perhaps cinema's greatest documentarians.

#12) Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World (2003)

Peter Weir should at least be in the conversation of all-time best directors.

#11) Chungking Express (1994)

Slaps you across the face with camouflaged feels—and the luminosity of Faye Wong.

#10) A Monster Calls (2016)

I don't know how a movie like this gets made, but pleased it did.

#9) Driving Miss Daisy (1988)

Charming. Didn't expect it to hit that hard.

#8) The Other Guys (2010)

I'm hesitant to say it's one of the best comedies of the 2000s, but it wouldn't be a stretch ... Top 10? Can it get a top 10?

#7) House (1977)

A grotesque and disorientating spectacle of surrealism.

#6) News From Home (1976)

You had me at long static shots, Ackerman. Per usual. Anyway, this is a phenomenal documentary. A simple but entrancing mother/daughter story unlike anything I've seen.

#5) His Girl Friday (1940)

Still catching up on the dialogue.

#4) My Man Godfrey (1936)

A masterclass in writing. And losing Carole Lombard is a cinematic tragedy.

#3) Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)

Did many years of accumulating an affection for dry, nonsensical humor and silly politics pay off in dividends so that I might appreciate this to its full extent? It has!

#2) The Triplets of Belleville (2003)

Or, "How to Masterfully Tell A Story Visually in Less Than 90 Minutes."

#1) Rain Man (1986)

Certifiably tense and tautly paced. Hans Zimmer is the soundtrack of the eighties. If only Twitter was around when this came out ... the discourse, my word. Anyway—it's brilliant.

*Feature image by fran_kie (Adobe)

Partner at Pipeline Media Group. Oversees all divisions, including Script, Book, and Film. Conceived of Pipeline Artists to gather creatives "in a single ecosytem" and bring a fresh POV on the arts.
Los Angeles / San Pedro, CA
More posts by Matthew J Misetich.
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