The Queue: 365 Movies I Never Saw Because I've Spent Too Much Time on Twitter - Part 3 (March 2023)

The Queue: 365 Movies I Never Saw Because I've Spent Too Much Time on Twitter - Part 3 (March 2023)

Part 3 of a 12-part series whereupon I watch one movie a day and rank them in their given month based entirely on subjective preferences.

The rules:

1) must be a movie I've never seen

2) review must be 32 words or less

3) must include an assortment of genres, directors, countries, and films inside and outside my comfort zone

4) must watch the film in its entirety, no matter how atrocious

Like you, I have a lot of movies on my list, many of which are so painfully popular, I carry great shame in having missed them. Few regrets. But great shame.

For each, I shall write only brief thoughts and become an intolerable quasi-cinephile who thinks Jeanne Dielman, 23 quai du Commerce, 1080 Bruxelles is more interesting than any Marvel movie, and Phil Alden Robinson is a better director than James Cameron. Both of which are true.

I apologize for nothing.



#31) Night on Earth (1991)

I wasn't much of a Jarmusch fan until I saw this, and it turns out I'm still not.

#30) The Slumber Party Massacre (1982)

For goofy, low-budget horror, viewed through a particular feminist lens (the symbolic emasculation, if you will), it deserves its cult status.

#29) Big Brown Eyes (1936)

It's whatever, but Joan Bennett is my new girlfriend.

#28) The Heroic Trio (1993)

Tbr, I couldn’t quite follow the plot until deep in, but the decapitations and baby killing kept me interested. Some of the set pieces are dope.

#27) Pretty in Pink (1986)

This star of this movie is Jon Cryer, co-starring Jon Cryer.

#26) Killer's Kiss (1955)

Not terribly iconic. As oddly surreal as most any Kubrick film. Dude was built different.

#25) Honor Among Lovers (1931)

Arzner and I remain undefeated. Pre-code sauciness. A little more tame than others in the same era.

#24) Thoroughbreds (2017)

Watched this for Olivia Cooke, and Cooke—watch out, and I'm sorry—cooks. Nice indie, though it feels spotty in its plot.

#23) EO (2022)

Like watching a donkey's surreal fever dream. The cinematography, the composition of it all, is phenomenal.

#22) Night of the Living Dead (1968)

It's difficult to look at this without comparing it to a hundred successors, and I'm not attempting to, so yes it's good, and I should have seen it years ago.

#21) History of the World: Part I (1981)

Not my favorite of Mel Brooks. But better than most.

#20) Shirley (2020)

Hauntingly intimate (I couldn't quite connect with it, but it's undoubtedly a good movie). As for Moss: I know, Mad Men and Handmaid's and all that's fine, but this is a next level performance.

#19) Shanghai Express (1932)

It feels like there are 2 plot beats in this movie and yet it's kind of enthralling. Needed more Anna May Wong.

#18) She's the Man (2006)

I could tell you how this is an unnecessarily complicated plot, but I'm too busy dreaming of an alternate universe where Amanda Bynes became a cinematic icon.

#17) The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent (2022)

On a base level, always a fan of Movies That Shouldn't Exist But Do. This supersedes that by a notch.

#16) Four Weddings and a Funeral (1994)

I want them to be a couple irl but not necessarily in this movie, so figure that one out.

#15) Swiss Army Man (2016)

It walked so Everything Everywhere All At Once could sprint. And Paul Dano never got an Oscar nom, so explain how that's a fair system.

#14) Supercop (1992)

The ending is hot. The whole movie is hot. Raw, elegant action. Dug it as much as Police Story.

#13) Moscow on the Hudson (1984)

Came in with low expectations, but it's alarmingly relevant and both a snapshot of the era and a commentary on American exceptionalism. The tropes aside, one of Robin Williams' best.

#12) Everything is Copy (2015)

Maybe niche, but I'm in that niche. When it comes to biographies helmed by a filmmaker with a personal connection to the subject, this is top shelf.

#11) Puss in Boots: The Last Wish (2022)

Deep and kind of profound ... The blend in animation styles works really well. Writing is perfect.

#10) Fat Girl (2001)

Featuring: one (er, two) of the most quietly disturbing and psychologically graphic scenes I've witnessed on film. By the time you read this, I'll still be in the bath, scrubbing myself clean.

#9) Hereditary (2018)

I've always thought there's a fine line between horror and drama, and this illustrates that point. I like Midsommar better, I "got it" more, but the hype is justified.

#8) Dog Day Afternoon (1975)

Losing John Cazale was an unfathomable catastrophe to cinema. The scene with Pacino and Sarandon is a whole movie in itself.

#7) Women Talking (2022)

Really brilliant. An advanced primer in how to write a dialogue-heavy, minimal location drama.

#6) Seven Psychopaths (2012)

I guess I'm a huge Martin McDonagh fan now? (part 1/2)

#5) Menace II Society (1993)

Bleak and brutal. A definite pivot from others in this sub-genre. Scorsese for Watts.

#4) In Bruges (2008)

I guess I'm a huge Martin McDonagh fan now? (part 2/2)

#3) Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance) (2014)

Michael Keaton was always here, but he's here-here here ... One of the best-assembled casts I've seen in a film.

#2) Eighth Grade (2018)

Absolutely wild that Bo Burnham was able to make this awkward, actually-very-beautiful movie. Elsie Fisher is titanic.

#1) Babylon (2022)

A total clusterfuck that feels like it’s set in an alternative universe Hollywood … what else do you people want out of cinema? A legendary Oscar snub.

Read previous lists: January | February

*Feature image by Graham Sisk, created for Pipeline Artists

Partner at Pipeline Media Group. Oversees all divisions, including Script, Book, and Film. Conceived of Pipeline Artists to gather creatives "in a single ecosytem" and bring a fresh POV on the arts.
Los Angeles / San Pedro, CA
More posts by Matthew J Misetich.
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