The Queue: 365 Movies I Never Saw Because I've Spent Too Much Time on Twitter - Part VIII (August 2023)
Part 8 of a 12-part series whereupon I watch one movie a day and rank them in their given month based entirely on subjective preferences.
The rules:
1) must be a movie I've never seen
2) review must be 32 words or less
3) must include an assortment of genres, directors, countries, and films inside and outside my comfort zone
4) must watch the film in its entirety, no matter how atrocious
Like you, I have a lot of movies on my list, many of which are so painfully popular, I carry great shame in having missed them. Few regrets. But great shame.
For each, I shall write only brief thoughts and become an intolerable quasi-cinephile who thinks Jeanne Dielman, 23 quai du Commerce, 1080 Bruxelles is more interesting than any Marvel movie, and Phil Alden Robinson is a better director than James Cameron. Both of which are true.
I apologize for nothing.
Enjoy.
~MJM
Was almost fooled into thinking it was good when that Moby beat hit.
#30) Ghostbusters: Afterlife (2021)
Takes too long to get to the "magic," the intrigue. And then plods along. But it's nothing like the first two movies, and not trying to be, so ... fair.
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I remember the poster being rad af (which it is) but never bothered to see it in theaters. The budget went into the dragon. Kinda blah. Score is lit.
Weird to say, but possibly (possibly ...) PTA's most arthouse attempt? It didn't amount to much for me, but still haven't seen a "bad" PTA film.
#26) Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure (1989)
I can buy the time travel stuff and whatnot, but am I to believe that all these people can fit into that one phone booth?
#25) The Umbrellas of Cherbourg (1964)
"Maybe happiness makes me sad." Leave it to the French to produce a downer of a 1960s musical. Colorful with a dreary, claustrophobic feel. Interesting, how that parallels the story.
#24) The Talented Mr. Ripley (1999)
I get why it was lauded. It's a mature thriller. Peak Young Matt Damon. Wonderful writing. But I dunno ... it insists upon itself.
Starring Martin Lawrence.
#22) Last Year at Marienbad (1961)
It's the afterlife, and it's a commentary on death and the persistence of memory. Sorry for the spoiler. Also Kubrick and Lynch have definitely seen this film multiple times.
I did tire of it after a while, but that's not totally fair because it's charming start to finish, to varying degrees.
Brb gonna look up the history of how they got David Bowie to do this movie.
Over-the-top 90s crime/neo-noir, so obviously there are 9,000 great one-liners. Fishburne iconic as always. Goldblum has never missed.
Pretty sleekly styled neo-Gothic horror (adjacent, anyway). Has a sort of elegance to it. Like watching a horror stage play.
Hints of fantasy in a dramedy are my thing, but something is inherently bleh about Mia Farrow's character. Ain't bad, not top 10 Woody Allen.
On paper, you'd think it would lose steam, but ... Hitchcock magic.
Starts out unapologetically childish and ends unapologetically childish. Here for it.
#14) Last Tango in Paris (1972)
I know it can be a tough watch, but any writer kinda has to see it at least once. Its best scene clearly inspired Tom Cruise in Magnolia.
All I know is Hong Chau is a fucking star. Ditto Sadie Sink. Second half slaps.
#12) A Fish Called Wanda (1988)
Come for Kevin Kline. Stay for Kevin Kline.
#11) Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! (1965)
Somehow this works? So much so I can at least understand John Waters' point in saying it's the best movie ever made. Absolute must-see for any screenwriter or director.
Maybe the only movie I've seen where the kidnappers are the heroes.
On my list for 10 years. Well worth the wait. I guess this is why Villeneuve has a valid career ...
#8) Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978)
I'm sure this has been analyzed to death over the last four decades, but it really is a directing and editing marvel, first and foremost.
#7) Revenge of the Nerds (1984)
A timeless cautionary tale of universities placing undue significance on football, our infatuation with popularity, and callous racism, inevitably leading to guerilla warfare by rebels.
#6) Marcel the Shell with Shoes On (2021)
Brb gonna curl up in a closet and contemplate cinema.
Would put in the Woody Allen dramedy holy trinity with Manhattan (his best film) and Annie Hall (his also best film), if you pretend he directed it and it's set in NYC.
#4) The Seven Year Itch (1955)
Flawless. Can't think of a more accurate representation of the pathetic 38-year-old male.
#3) One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest (1975)
One of those "oh I've seen it but haven't seen it" movies ... Brilliant. But was Nurse Ratched a terrible person, or just overworked?
Not my favorite Nolan, but I think it's his magnum opus (to date). Is it too long? Too detailed? Yes. Does it matter? No.
Like a legendary arthouse movie produced by a studio. Gerwig is the next iconic director. An undebatable masterpiece.
Read previous lists: January | February | March | April | May | June | July
*Feature image by Graham Sisk, created for Pipeline Artists
